As the “tropospheric polar vortex” descended on New England February 3–5, 2023, resulting in single digit below 0 temps on the mercury and up to -30 with the wind chill, just under 400 determined souls invaded the Newport Island Harbor Resort (formerly Gurney’s Resort) on Goat Island in Newport, Rhode Island, for the HIM annual marriage conference.
Besides some relatively minor inconveniences (which I’ll talk about later), the weekend was an off-the-charts success and we have nothing but praise to Jesus for being so very present in every aspect of the conference.
The sun set on a frigid Friday afternoon as the couples were making their way to the conference.
Ambience makes the difference between “just an event” and “a memorable event” and Kelly Plosker once again shared her gifts of creating beauty in a hotel ballroom. Our guests were delighted that the theme “Running to Win” did not show up in the form of tennis shoes for the centerpieces. Rather, beautiful vases of pussy willows and pine cones adorned the tables, encircled by colorful goody bags picking up the colors of blue and red from the conference brochure. Each person walking in felt the love and care invested in creating this safe and beautiful space.
Kelly Plosker transformed the ball room into a beautiful, safe space for all our corporate gathering times.
Everyone who attends the conference is well familiar with Gabby Warren, our admin, who meticulously takes care of registrations, payments, and being the liaison with the hotel. She keeps track of endless details and interacts with everyone so kindly and accommodatingly.
The conference wouldn’t go on without her and we are so very grateful for all she does and is.
Thankfully, her sidekick Rob is also fully committed to HIM and to serving well and sacrificially. In addition to emceeing the weekend both professionally and humorously, and helping Gabby with whatever she needed, he led a workshop on finances. We’re so thankful for all that Rob and Gabby Warren bring to the table.
Rob and Gabby Warren stand positioned to welcome the conferees Friday afternoon.
Before the 8 pm launch, the team (book table and registration volunteers, worship team, workshop leaders and speakers, desktop publisher of all things printed, and AV volunteers) gathered for dinner and prayer. What we all know is that without the work of the Holy Spirit, nothing connected with eternity will happen, and it was the prayer of everyone in the circle that the Holy Spirit would do a mighty work among us.
And He did. All praise is His!!
Team prayer meeting before the conference launch.
And then we were off and running!! With a packed ballroom, the joy of celebrating marriage together was palpable. In this post-covid season, it’s apparent that we are hungry for fellowship/community and this weekend made a large deposit into feeding our souls.
It is good to be together.
Rob Warren gets us going Friday night with announcements and mixers.
The worship team, led again this year by Danny and Rayna Oertli, was used by God to wholeheartedly lead us in singing praises to His name. It is a foretaste of heaven to have almost 400 voices joined in true worship. Danny also performed several of his original songs, and then with guitarist Dave Beegle, treated us to an after-hours concert Saturday night. They rocked the place.
The worship team practicing Friday afternoon.
Danny and Dave Beegle showcased their immense talent in a concert Saturday night.
Workshops are a very important part of the weekend, and of the nine offered, each conferee can choose two to attend. Topics included finances, conflict management, creativity in marriage, marital sexuality, finishing well, temperaments, tips for a thriving marriage, spiritual disciplines, and growing a BIG marriage. All of the workshops were well attended and received rave reviews.
Doug and Julie Macrae repeated their popular “Super Bowl Marriage—Creativity in Marriage” workshop and Doug modeled his extreme creativity by revealing, in hand-cut red paper, the 800,000,000 seconds he and Julie have shared in their 25 years of marriage.
A highlight of the Saturday morning session was an interview with Don and Betsy Hasselbeck. No strangers to the Christian and/or football communities, Don and Betsy shared how the Lord brought them into faith early in Don’s football career and how they’ve continued to grow as His disciples. Their subsequent workshop was wildly popular as they taught on developing spiritual disciplines individually and as a couple.
Paul interviews Don and Betsy Hasselbeck during the Saturday morning session.
Braving the frigid cold, we enjoyed lunch out with the Hasselbecks and the MacDonalds.
Maybe the highest highlight of the weekend was having Gordon and Gail MacDonald featured as the Saturday evening speakers. Now 84, they spoke from their hearts about their marital journey and their commitment to finishing well. They shared their “Five Words to Live By” being:
- I’m sorry.
- I forgive you.
- Well done.
- How can I help you?
- Thank you.
Profound and simple.
Just hearing from these sages was inspirational to all. How desperately we need to hear from those who are in the “bell lap” of their life on earth, proclaiming the faithfulness and goodness of the Lord.
It was a sacred evening.
One “assignment” we give to our Engagement Matter’s attendees is to make a commitment to having an “annual marriage check-up” by way of a marriage conference or some such get-away weekend. We were thrilled to have 49 couples (of the 192) who were married for less than six years. Most of the couples came to the “invitation only young marrieds” dinner Saturday night and sat at tables hosted by “not young married veterans” who lead the conversation re: challenges and joys of the early years of marriage. We are so deeply encouraged to have these young marrieds seeking Godly counsel and wisdom regarding marriage with hearts to honor Him in their homes.
The young marrieds dinner was very well attended and lively conversations happened around the tables.
The special dining area was full.
Sunday morning, we hosted a breakfast for pastors and lay leaders in family/marriage ministry with the goal of sharing ideas for how their churches could better provide for the needs of their congregants. It was really encouraging to hear how many churches are on the cutting edge of this critical area. We were also very heartened to have several senior pastors at the conference, who are modeling to their congregations the importance of carving out time to build into their own marriages.
The pastors and lay leaders breakfast focused on expanding marriage and family focus in the local church.
Circling back to the “mostly” warm comment, I must include that there were a few hiccups inside the hotel during the weekend that added some drama (and a lot of cold).
As I said, it was “mostly” warm inside, though the frigid temps managed to freeze a few water pipes, some of which set off the fire alarm while we were finishing the Saturday morning session. Unfortunately the fire department alone had the power to turn off the ear-piercing alarm, which continued for over 10 minutes—and it’s safe to say that we were no competition for the siren. The fire alarm was triggered again in the afternoon, forcing evacuation of one end of the hotel. A few other frozen pipes disabled heat into about two dozen rooms on Friday night, the occupants of which experienced winter camping inside their quarters. And a few other pipes burst overhead in the lobby before the evening meeting Saturday night, creating a waterfall effect on the main corridor.
The hotel staff worked overtime to minimize the discomfort and inconvenience to us, and our people rose above the challenges in such a way that garnered high praise from the staff. The hotel management wrote us following the weekend, ”Everyone at the resort emphasized how kind and gracious everyone was during the weekend.” Christlikeness in action.
These unusual occurrences aside, the hotel was warm and cozy and most people chose to “shelter in” throughout the weekend.
The hotel lobby played host to waterfalls produced by burst pipes on Saturday evening.
All too quickly, the conference ended with a time of prayer and a challenge for each to take one thing from the weekend as the focus for going forward. Lots of hugging and teary farewells ensued and within an hour, there were few physical traces of the 2023 conference. By His grace, though, for years to come there will be spiritual evidence of the historically wintry weekend spent in Rhode Island.
Bonded by years of attending family camp at Berea together, this was a happy reunion. Ann Fredericks is holding a photo of Jim and Holly Mullins, who were sorely missed by all. Jim passed away this past fall.
Having been mentored by Gordon and Gail for almost 40 years now, it was such a joy to have them with us for the weekend and to sit under their teaching once again.
We were thrilled to have a group from Eusebia 1000, the marriage experience we are privileged to speak for every October. Harold and Dalia Arnold (in the front row with us), direct that ministry and also gave a workshop at our conference again this year.
Though a number of our volunteers and team had already left, we grabbed this photo of the “remnant.” These hard-working, committed friends and partners are the behind-the-scenes crew who make it happen and we are so deeply grateful for each of them.
Some reflections on the weekend that were written on the evaluations:
“Workshops and speakers were very informative and great.
We are thankful for the opportunity to attend and learn tools to help strengthen our marriage. Looking forward to attending next year.
We thoroughly enjoyed it. Great messages, wonderful fellowship, and a much needed get away. Thank you for your delicious hospitality.
Wonderful speakers with so much wisdom to share.
Great content throughout the weekend. Thank you for all your efforts for our benefit.
We enjoyed ourselves so much and have left with so much to explore together.
Thank you to the whole team for a job well done.
Thanks for continuing this much needed ministry. Many couples at our church are being blessed year after year.
We really value the presenters having their material grounded in scripture.
Amazing! You are an incredible team of devoted people.
First time and it has been such a blessing—
So blessed to attend the Marriage Retreat. So pleased by all you do. Every thought, word and deed served to make us feel cared for and equipped.”
And so the sun set and the moon rose on February 5, putting an exclamation point on an incredibly powerful weekend. With hearts overflowing with gratitude, we give all the praise to Jesus. Our prayer is that each of these marriages will grow in reflecting His glory, and be a profound witness to the world of the power of the gospel.
Amen!!
