From Element to Engagement: Five Wonderful Weeks of Ministry

After the rain, the double rainbow.

Our very full speaking schedule picked up after having one weekend “home” in February (the 16-18th), and the past month has seen us in North Carolina, Oahu, Pennsylvania, and Boston. Whew! We’re thankful for so many great opportunities and continue to be so grateful for good health and an ever deepening passion to continue encouraging marriages and families.

We flew to Charlotte, NC, on the 22nd of February to spend a day with our dear friends, Dan and Susan Yardley and family, before speaking in Forest City for the weekend. The Yardleys were very involved in family ministries with us while they lived in Lexington, MA, before relocating to NC. Even then, they continued to attend our HIM family camps and marriage conferences. They are part of our “chosen family” network and we had such a sweet time spending 24 hours with them. We were especially touched that two of their adult children came home for a day to visit with us. Besides taking walks and eating great meals, we went on a trail ride from the horse stables their youngest daughter Abbie rides at regularly. We had a blast!!

All mounted and ready to ride!

Liz and Tim Yardley came home from college/work to join us for the day. We’ve known them since their births and it’s been such a joy to watch them grow into adulthood with hearts for the Lord.

Off to Forest City we drove to speak for their marriage conference, arranged by Bob and Elizabeth Bell, dear friends and family campers. The Bells relocated to NC 4 years ago, leaving behind “city life” in NH and buying a farm in NC. They’re loving their new life on the farm, and they’re delighted to be part of "Element Church.”

And now we’re delighted to know of Element Church!!

This very alive, gospel-centered church is making a difference in Forest City. They are driven by a deep commitment to reach the lost with the good news of the gospel and to strategically come alongside the hurting and broken, which they are doing it in a variety of ways. One of the ways is through the Hope House Coffee ministry, which provides jobs for a number of folks who are trying to get back on their feet. We were inspired.

The conference was well planned and beautifully done. The “creatives” showed "their stuff” with table decorations, a photo booth, and shirts—and they even arranged for a pizza truck to bake on-the-premises, preordered, personal pizzas. Worship was led by a group of very talented musicians. And for fun and games, their rendition of “The Newlywed Game” was pretty hysterical. We thoroughly enjoyed being in the mix of their congregation for the weekend.

Bob and Elizabeth Bell, former New Englanders, got the ball rolling for the marriage conference at the Element Church in Forest City, NC, and invested greatly in getting it pulled off.

The coffee house set-up was perfect for this “in the church” marriage conference.

The team behind the conference . . . how we enjoyed meeting and working with this group.

Marriage-conference-themed shirts were made for all the attendees, but for us, special shirts were made. After Paul gave several (of the many) temperament illustrations featuring his lack of attention to detail, resulting in him walking off in someone else’s shoes, or wearing an unmatched pair, this precious couple, Jonah and Anna Millwood, designed and made these one-of-kind customized t-shirts for us. Paul’s reads “Yes, these are my shoes!” with a picture of two different shoes, and mine reads “Oh honey, are you sure?” We all got a big laugh out of this very memorable gesture.

Standing with Jonah and Anna Millwood, holding our custom made shirts.

After being home for a packed three-day period, which included a full day of counseling, we were off on Feb. 29 for Oahu. Rodney Wong, director of the Bible Institute of Hawaii, was a former student of ours at GCTS over 20 years ago, and he invited us to return to Oahu to partner with two different churches on back-to-back weekends. We were honored to again partner with Rodney and Miki and to be introduced to two new-to-us ministries.

Welcome to Oahu!!

The first weekend was spent at the Kaimuki Christian Church, led by Danny Han and his wife, Kyounghee. They titled their conference “Love and Sacrifice” and carried the theme throughout. Saturday until mid-afternoon, a great group attended to be encouraged in their marriages. The hospitality team did a great job of keeping us all fed and hydrated during snack breaks, and lunch boxes of either fish or chicken meals were catered. Worship set the table before each speaking session and Danny Han wrapped up each session with words of wisdom. Great fellowship happened around the tables and in the sanctuary.

We also had the privilege of speaking at their three worship services, the first of which is held Friday night and two on Sunday, and were delighted to see many faces we’d become familiar with from the conference.

The welcome/registration table sign.

Rodney and Miki Wong and Danny Han were responsible for the marriage conference at Kaimuki Christian Church.

All of these couples came from another church in town for the marriage conference.

Box lunches were enjoyed by all in the fellowship hall.

Rodney snagged this selfie of a group from his church who attended.

Danny and Kyounghee Han are providing leadership for the Kaimuki Christian Church as Danny serves as interim pastor.

After the weekend conference and then teaching at both of their church services on Sunday, we needed a little exercise and fresh air, so off we went to conquer Koko Crater. This 1.6 mile round-trip hike traverses 1,050 “stairs,” which are really abandoned railway ties used during World War ll to haul cargo and supplies to the top—the view from which is spectacular. The hike itself is a heart-pounder as it ascends to 960’ in .8 miles. It was definitely not a cake walk, but we were so glad we did it.

View from the top of Koko Crater.

View from the bottom after completion.

And since we were in the area, we also decided to hike the Makapu’u Lighthouse trail to catch the sunset. It was just over a 2-mile roundtrip and though it climbed in elevation, it only reached 500’. We were treated to beautiful views up the east side of the island as well as towards Diamond Head and Waikiki…along with a beautiful sunset.

We were pooped but filled with satisfaction when we returned to the car.

From the top of the Makapu’u Lighthouse trail, looking towards Kailua.

This is what we came for!!

Monday night, the Bible Institute of Hawaii hosted an informal Q&A time at the Kaimuki Christian Church. Questions pertinent to both marriage and parenting were posited and we had some lively interaction. We love events like this!

The informal Q&A event drew a great cross-section of folks across the ages and genders.

Between the two weekends, besides having one day of zoom counseling, we had time to meet up with friends and to explore the island a bit.

We had a delightful lunch of Dim Sum with our dear, long time friends, Patrick and Dorcas Wong. It was such a treat to be with this precious couple whom we’ve known now for a quarter of a century.

Rodney and Miki Wong treated us to a fabulous buffet at the Hyatt Regency overlooking Ala Moana, at sunset. The food was fantastic and the company even better.

This was our view from the Hyatt.

We returned to the Makapu’u Lighthouse trail hoping to spot some whales, but they were not to be seen. Still a great hike.

We also hiked Diamond Head and enjoyed looking down at Waikiki.

And then we returned to Diamond Head for a sunrise hike which was largely obscured by clouds.

But we saw Waikiki in the early morning light and it was lovely.

We met up with our dear friend Carrie Ho'omanawanui for lunch one day. Carrie was in the Patriots women’s study with me a number of years ago and it was so good to catch up with her.

The next weekend was quickly upon us and the Kalihi Union Church hosted this marriage conference. Kendal Fong was the point person for this conference and we really enjoyed working with him. Especially encouraging to us was the number of singles who attended the conference. Some had never married, some were divorced. All said they wanted to understand what God was calling them to in marriage, should they marry. Love that!

The conference went very well, thankfully, and we again were given the privilege of teaching at their three Sunday morning services. We quickly found out that Ada Lum, who was a co-worker with Paul’s parents in the International Fellowship of Evangelical Students (IFES), had been a member of that church her whole adult life and is now 97 and living in a nursing home nearby with her sister. She wrote many Bible studies for IFES and IVCF and her discipleship efforts have impacted thousands, including our dear friend Becky Pippert Molenhouse, who was discipled by Ada while in Spain in the early days of her relationship with Christ.

The 7:15 am service is well-attended by many “kupuna,” which included a number of Ada’s contemporaries. Hymns carried the worship and traditions tied the service together.

The middle service, dubbed “Interactive Service” very creatively limits the sermon to 20-25 minutes and leaves the balance of time for Q&A about the sermon, submitted in real time by text. The senior pastor, Jonathan Steeper, vetted the questions, which were posted on the screens for us to answer. That was a first for us and we really liked it.

The third service is the family service. All three services were well-attended and we were thankful to be part of this dynamic church.

Registration Friday night, March 8, for the Kalihi Union Church marriage conference.

Rodney and Miki Wong with their kids, Mikayla and Josiah, supported the marriage conference at KUC.

Pastor Kendal Fong welcomes everyone to the conference.

The attendees were very engaged.

Kendal Fong and Randy Wong debriefed with us after opening night.

Matthew runs a ministry to prisoners and decided to give Paul’s book “Lovin’ Your Wife Like Christ When You Ain’t No Jesus” to a number of inmates he’s working with.

Pastor Jonathan Steeper and his wife, Patricia, though both battling health issues, were present and supportive.

During the third service at KUC.

We wrapped up our time in Oahu with another walk on the beach, lovely even though cloudy/rainy. That evening we had dinner with our friends, Sean and Megan (Barley) Mitsuda, who are church planting on Oahu. Megan’s dad is Bill Barley, the senior pastor for the Living Stones Church on the Big Island, with whom we partner. We had a great evening together and really appreciated hearing about their life and family while enjoying “hot pot."

One last walk at Ko’olina Beach front . . .

And a great evening with Sean and Megan Mitsuda . . .

And Randy dropped us off at the airport for our early morning flight home, and 14 hours later, we made it.

We arrived home at 4 am, Tuesday, March 12, and welcomed our dear friend Gertrud Buck from Stuttgart at 4 that afternoon. We’ve known Gertrud since 1988 when she spent a couple of weeks working at Campus by the Sea with us and we’ve been connecting ever since. She has hosted us every time we’re in Europe and she’s spent time with us (and many of our friends) each time she travels to the states. This trip was in celebration of her 60th birthday and we were so happy to get to help her celebrate. An added bonus was having Lisa with us! She spent her spring break helping Julie with the kids while Derek was traveling for Neurokids.

The time was short, since we were only in town until Friday noon, the 15th, but we made the most of it. We hiked around Braddock Lake and kept local one day, and spent one whole day in DC, enjoying a few museums and lots of walking. We had a few celebration meals as well and hated to see the time end so quickly.

Julie hosted us for “Mom’s Tacos” Tuesday night after getting Gertrud from the airport.

Gertrud, Lisa, and I walked “Rex” around Burke Lake, logging 5 miles early in the day.

We celebrated her 60th by making a proper fuss at Ruth Chris Steakhouse.

After dropping Gertrud off at the airport early afternoon Friday, we continued driving north for our next speaking engagement at the Tuscarora Inn. We were last here in 2016 and 2017 and we loved being back. This beautiful conference center is on the Delaware River and it was here in 2017 that we met Harold and Dalia Arnold, who along with their church marriage team, were attending the marriage conference for which we were speaking. They were launching Eusebeia several months later and invited us to join them the following year as plenary speakers. And the rest, as they say, is history. We love our partnership/friendship with the Arnolds and it all started here at Tuscarora!!

Worship was beautifully led by a very talented husband and wife team, Matthew and Michelle Wang. We really enjoyed hanging out with them throughout the weekend and truly hope our paths cross again. The program director, Sara Pensyl, did a great job of putting the weekend schedule together with creativity, which included “movie night” Friday after the session, and a Christian comedian Saturday night after we spoke. Kenn Kingston was hilarious and a perfect ending to a wonderful day.

We wrapped up Sunday morning with teaching followed by communion and continued driving north with grateful hearts for a delightful weekend.

Worship was heartfelt.

Paul throwing out the outlines, or as we call them, “flyers.”

We really enjoyed Christian comedian Kenn Kingston.

Matthew and Michelle Wang led robust worship and blessed all of us.

This group of Puerto Rican couples from NY shared inspiring testimonies with us.

The sun set on the conference and our next stop was Albany, NY.

Since our next conference was Engagement Matters in NH, we drove this trip, and since our route could pass through Albany, NY, we took advantage to spend a night with our dear lifelong friends, Bill and Helen Challener. Helen worked at camp in 1978 and 1980 and we’ve been fast friends ever since. It was so good to hang out with these life-giving friends and the time went all too quickly. Walking, talking, and eating filled the hours and a short 26 hours after arriving, we were on our way to Bedford, where we camped out for the week with Richard Hendricks.

Bill and Helen Challener are salt-of-the-earth friends and chosen family.

The few days in Bedford were also far too short as we returned to the area which served as our home for the past 32 years. We were so grateful to Richard Hendricks for opening his home to us for our “base of operations” and the days were filled with connecting with friends, doing zoom counseling, and preparing for Engagement Matters. One of the highlights was spending an evening with Guy and Barbara Steele and Richard over dinner. It had been way too long since we had enjoyed a social evening together and we made the most of it. So blessed to have such wonderful people in our life and ministry.

Our dinner out with Guy and Barbara Steele and Richard Hendricks was full of talking and laughter.

Another highlight was making a quick trip up to the North Shore to celebrate Egyptian Mother’s Day with Beshoy and Diana and their 3-month-old, David. Such a good time!!

And yet another highlight was meeting up with Karen and Abigail Bushnell at Panera in Beverly. They were here from CA on a college tour and our hearts are forever bonded with theirs after spending many summers with them at family camp. How perfect that we were in town when they were!

And yet ANOTHER highlight was having dinner with Dave and Monique Cloutier, their daughter Nikki and her husband Ryan, and Tom and Michele Sweeney, prior to speaking at Valley Chapel on Friday night, March 22. We’ve been walking with these couples for a very long time and were so happy to have some time to connect.

As we did on the night before Engagement Matters in December 2023, we spoke at Date Night for Valley Chapel. Ken and Amy Gaudet organized the event and Bob and Sharon Howard (senior pastor) supported it fully. The room was full of happy-to-be-on-a-date couples and the air was full of energy. We’re loving our growing partnership with this church family.

Pastor Bob and Sharon Howard and Ken and Amy Gaudet made this date night happen.

Refreshments and gathering around the tables provided good fellowship.

Early the next morning, we started Engagement Matters after a one-hour delay out of deference to a nasty winter storm which brought snow and ice to the area. Thankfully, the conference was still able to go on and we had enthusiastic, in-love couples very engaged for two days of talking about God’s design for marriage. Lots of good questions and interactions marked this weekend, which is one of our favorite conferences of the year.

The EM attendees, minus two couples who weren’t here for the photo.

Our wonderful serving team of Carl and Cathy Blatchley, Steve and Janet Hathaway, Matt and Beth Ide (not pictured), and Richard Hendricks (not pictured), helped this weekend go so smoothly.

The couples were very affirming in their evaluations of how helpful the weekend was as they process this most important decision regarding marriage.

We’re home for a few days before we embark on a marathon seven weeks of travel/speaking, but we’re so thankful for how the Lord has met us over the past five weeks since our last update. Thank you for your prayers and support in so many ways. All praise is His!!!